This is something I personally have been thinking about for quite some time now. And my thought process on this has only been sparked again recently by a post by the lovely @_kellyu on Instagram: Regardless of how you feel about what you do, don´t do, your successes or self-perceived “failures”, you are worth so much. 

When I first began to focus on loving myself more, thinking kind words about myself, treating myself with love I felt like I needed to justify this, like I needed to earn loving myself. I spent a lot of time focusing on my achievements and/or positive traits. While this can be very hepful in seeing your own worth, it is the same fucked up way of thinking that leads to so much self-loathing in our society: that being loved needs to be earned. That we somehow need to become worthy of being loved, that we need to work for it and that love can be revoked from us if we step outside the lines.
This way of thinking may have been taught to you by parents or friends or even partners. It is a lie that is continuously fed to us by the media, by companies and nowadays also social media: That we, just as we are, are not enough. That there is something inherently wrong with us, which we needs to be fixed, be it by covering our faces in make-up, putting on designer clothes, working or butts off in the gym or being successful in our jobs. It is absolute devastating to live under this idea and it is so intensely hard to free yourself from this. But this entire way of thinking is false. It is a lie.
If you find it hard to understand or doubt this, just think of a newborn baby. This baby has not delivered anything if you think about it. It has not attained a degree, it is not working its butt of in a job, it is not even trying to work out and get rid of that baby fat. It can´t even speak, but you still are convinced it is worthy of being loved, right? That this child in fact deserves this love, that it is inherent right to be loved. And this is the breaking point: WE ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED! Just for us, just for being alive, without any successes or achievements or any gains. Just because we are humans, because our parents wanted us to be born, because we all were little babies once.
You need to learn to detach from basing your self-worth and self-love on how you have been behaving and accept, that you inherently deserve love. From others but especially and most importantly from yourself. This is one of the most crucial things you can do to feel better about yourself, to be a happier person and to let go of needing permission to like or even love yourself.
Write this on your mirror, get it tattooed, cover your walls in it, I don´t care what you need to do to let this fully sink in. But you need to grasp it, so you don´t continue to base your worth on how well you do in life. So you don’t stop to like yourself, when you need a break, when you make a mistake or something does not work out for you. This is probably the biggest step to take when working on being nicer to yourself. But I think it may be one of the most important ones.

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Thanks so much for your lovely comments, constructive criticism and suggestions. I will try to answer all of you!