Take yourself on a date. That may be a slightly weird request for some of you. Most of us don´t really like being alone. This can be seen in a wide array of people only dating to have someone, anyone, just to not be alone. I personally love being alone. I actually desperately need it. This may seem a little weird even to people, who know me because I am an intensely social person. I am really bubbly and communicative (some people may say I am horribly loud actually) and I hang out with friends almost every day. However while all of this is part of me, I am also an introvert meaning I need to spend time alone to get energy back, to recover if you will. This is why for example I prefer to live by myself, or why I really don´t like working out or studying with other people. I need time for myself. And even if you are an extrovert and mainly gain energy from being around other people, being able to be by yourself is crucial and will very likely make you a happier human being - and also help you to not just choose friends or lovers to not be alone aka people, who are actually good for you, instead of just anybody.

However I do get that it is not necessarily easy or very accepted in our society to be a loner. When I tell people that I am travelling by myself the reaction is often more horror than happiness. Asking for "A table for one" can feel daunting and obviously being alone also means you only have yourself as company and you have to really deal with your own emotions, own thoughts and own feelings. If you usually constantly surround yourself with others it may have been a really long time since you just dealt with yourself and you may have kept a lot of these emotions, thoughts and feelings nicely bottled up. Now that may be one coping mechanism, but it is certainly not the healthiest. Over the course of the next four weeks I would love it if you would slowly but surely got more comfortable with yourself, including spending time alone. So see this first date with yourself as a stepping stone into a hopefully very successful relationship.

You may want to start small. A first date would probably be a coffee or walk together instead of a three course dinner (I would not know I have been on maybe like three dates in my life, but romantic comedies have taught me this). So today after your lunch break with colleagues go and get coffee by yourself. Or maybe even have lunch alone. Or if you are not working today why not go for brunch? Or even easier: make brunch for yourself. Actually nice brunch like scrambled eggs or pancakes and real good coffee. I also love to explore by myself, be that my own home town or a new city. It can be really freeing to be able exactly where you want to go, do exactly what you want to do without aving to ask anyone else. Part of this challenge is to be nice to yourself. As nice as you would to someone you are dating.

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of your life, because you spend the most time (literally your entire life) with yourself. If you have a hateful relationship with yourself this can thus ruin your entire life. It can hurt you in much deeper and intense ways, than any bad relationship or friendship ever could. So I personally think this is actually the relationship you should invest the most into. And having regular dates with yourself is part of keeping this relationship fun and happy and healthy. Being comfortable with yourself is hard work and a lot of tears and sweat, but ultimately like every relationship it can be really, really fun. And part of that fun is to do nice things for yourself on a regular basis.

My favourite kind of date: me, coffe, cake and a good book

Taking yourself on a date may seem silly or like a tip from a magazine like Glamour, but it is actually what you do for your friends and romantic relationships all the time. So taking one or two hours for quality time is not even that crazy when you think that every week we get 168 hours to spare. Maybe use this time to journal and get in touch with your feelings and thoughts. Maybe use it to read your favourite book or listen to your favourite music and maybe just use this as down time to think. So as daunting as it may seem, enjoy this date. It is one of the foundations of your relationships with you.

You Might Also Like

2 Kommentare

  1. Not silly because I totally understand. This is needed sometimes. You look so nice


Thanks so much for your lovely comments, constructive criticism and suggestions. I will try to answer all of you!