DAY 12


Today´s challenge was: try something new today, which you always wanted to do. Why is that a task in a self love challenge?

Because sometimes I think we perceive self love as only being gentle and loving with yourself. And while that is a huge part of it and the basis for mental health, I think sometimes self love is also about discipline and pushing yourself. Because as much as resting is important from time to time loving ourselves is also about getting out of bed, doing a workout, making fresh food instead of a microwave meal. It can also be about overcoming your fears in a loving way.

I am terrified of gyms. I actually hate them. I never ever was a sporty child, I was always the last to be chosen for sports teams in school (hello trauma), I never used to enjoy working out. And that insecurity is still so engrained in me, even though I have been regularly working out for about four years now, enjoy my own routine and am relatively fit. But in my mind I still think I am not fit enough, not sporty enough to go to a gym or workout class without people noticing it. I ultimately think I am not good enough.

Which is one thing I really want and need to overcome to feel good about myself and feel fully comfortable. I think we all are so caught up in our own minds, our negative self talk that we are convinced people all think the same toxic way about us. When in reality nobody cares. No one minds if you go out without make up or wear clothes you like or are not the best at lifting weights. So overcoming this initial "God no" reaction can be so helpful.

I almost chickened out today. I was on the phone to my boyfriend when walking to the Cross Fit class and literally said: "Maybe I´ll just go home." I almost let my negative self talk and own fears hold myself back and that is bullshit. So in a loving way I went and did that class. Do I love Cross Fit? Nope, but at least I tried. Did people laugh at me? No actually everyone was really lovely. For me Cross Fit is one of the most dauting workouts out there: it includes weights, it is done in teams and it is super high intensity. But I did. I went there, I did okay and I sweated like a motherfucker. And it went fine. So now when I am afraid of working out in front of other people again or learn to weight-lift or do my own thing in so many other ways I can look back on today and know it will be okay. So that´s what I want you to do today. Try something daunting in a loving way. Because as much as loving yourself is about taking it slow, sometimes it is about pushing yourself beyond what you can imagine you can do.

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Thanks so much for your lovely comments, constructive criticism and suggestions. I will try to answer all of you!